When will I wake,
From this dream of horrors?
A nightmare sprinkled,
With drops of light amidst darkness.
Forever I am reaching,
Yearning for something to hold.
Something on which to take purchase,
A foundation on which to build a life.

Too many competitors,
Claiming to have truth,
When all I see is the lie,
That runs through them all.
One day I'll find my inner peace,
One day I hope to be content.
No more of the itching,
The feeling of malcontent anxiety,
Distrustful and displeased with myself.
It's a nightmare.
I've tried to change,
Meditation, talking, medications,
But nothing lasts.
Not religious conviction,
Not career goals,
No life purpose takes hold.
Each day is full,
Small victories and constructive habits,
But what is my journey?
They say life is about the journey,
Not the destination.
But for me there is no journey,
And certainly no destination.

I'm floating in an abyss,
Drifting like a spec of dust,
In this large confusing world.
I've looked outside myself,
I've looked inward.
There is no relief,
No revelation of belief.
No moment of understanding,
Of why or what or when.
I am alone,
Without solid footing,
Without a firm grip,
On whatever truth there is.
It's a nightmare,
And I can't wake up.