Relationships are worse than heights-
not even just the romantic kind,
being close with friends is impossible
I keep myself further away than arm's length
miles away
behind sarcasm and jokes
I have no feelings
just humor and abundant kindness.
Alcohol is grand
you don't think
just drink
and everything drains away
and people become less than people
mere ants
who want to care about you and your thoughts
but even then
I don't want their positive regard
I want to make myself invisible
no worries
I'm fine
I will bleed to death here, alone
I don't want to get your hands sticky
I'm fine I promise.
How are you?
Yeah, i just had a line or two
but really I'm cool
my nose bleeds all the time;
those cuts are from my cat;
I wasn't throwing up I just felt a little sick,
I had a huge breakfast
as my stomach rumbles.
I don't want your help
I can be strong
really
I can be miserable without anyone else,
they would only pity
or be disgusted
and really
that would make me crazier than anything.