I WENT TO MY KID'S CHRISTMAS PLAY
I GO THERE EVERY YEAR
IT REALLY IS A SIGHT TO SEE
THOSE CHILDREN FREEZE WITH FEAR
THEY ACT THEIR LITTLE HEARTS OUT
THEIR FACES RED WITH RAGE
ALL THIS HAPPENS PRIOR TO
THEM GOING OUT ON STAGE

THEY DO THE SAME PLAY EVERY YEAR
IT REALLY IS A CROCK
LAST YEAR MY KID WAS A WISE MAN
THIS YEAR, HE PLAYS A ROCK
HE CAME HOME AND HE PRACTICED
HE READ THE SCRIPT WITH ME
I THINK HE WAS MUCH BETTER THAN
THE KID WHO PLAYED A TREE

THEY ALWAYS USE A LITTLE DOLL
TO PORTRAY THE CHRIST CHILD
THE WISE MEN ALL HAVE NIKES ON
IT'S REALLY SOMETHING WILD
POOR JOSEPH HAS A STUTTER
AND MARY HAS A COUGH
AND WHEN SHE PICKED POOR JESUS UP
HIS HEAD AND LEG FELL OFF

WE SIT THERE AND TRY  NOT TO LAUGH
THE KIDS THEY TRY THEIR BEST
BUT WHEN THAT HEAD ROLLED OFF THE STAGE
IT PUT ME TO THE TEST
IT HAPPENS EVERY CHRISTMAS
ONE NIGHT FROM EIGHT TILL TEN
IT'S AWFUL, BUT NEXT YEAR I KNOW
THAT I'LL BE BACK AGAIN.