And this is it
this is how you lose me.

Wake up my ghosts,
they will hand you what
you need
to end this

and then **** me
when you're angry enough

and do it slowly.

Leave bullets in my body
so i can taste the warm metal
the soft decay
long after
the resurrection

Let me dismantle myself
when you aren't looking,
you don't know
what suffering is

So when you look for me
the next morning and wonder,
why i didn't help you rise from ash,
why i was always so depressed,
why i left,

it was because
i thought i could trust you
to love
everything i was

i remember every single time
i forgave you when
everything screamed in me
to hate

i realize now
i am afraid of you
the same way
i was before

and you lack the ability to understand that,
or realize what damage
you dealt

This is how you lose
this war

because

i knew,
ever since i let myself
allow you in

that you
would be
the death of
me.