You’re right there.
Why can’t I reach out to touch you?
Hold me, and say it’s okay…
But when I blink, you ripple.
You’re really miles away

I’m losing my mind.
All I can do is keep quiet and smile…
When I talk to you I feel safe, I can relax for a while…

As soon as you leave, it sets in again.
All I ever was, was an empty tin.
I was once filled with joy and hope.
Never questioning the struggles of holding my head high and learning to cope…

My fears, and thoughts are reaching in all directions.
I shout for them to leave me be.
They have no business latching onto me.

But what can I do?
What can I say?
It’s not like this would make sense to you anyway…

Because I am my own destroyer...
My own butcher...
My own killer…

You yell “Don’t give up! You can do this!”
But I have already given in.
My mind's made up.
That’s where this all started,
That’s where it’ll  end.
If I convince myself I’ll be okay for a little while,
I’m only playing pretend.

We’ll see where this ends...

But when I see your smile this whole cycle starts over again.
I'm doing this for you,
You're the reason I don't stop fighting,
the reason I make amends,
So real, this could never be pretend.

You're there through thick and thin.
I could never thank you enough,

My friend