Now here's a ****** story. I'll tell it if I must. About an effing ****** A **** with a cheesy crust Some people have got nice wives in their eyes a glint But my old mans misses Is just an awful ****
My old man's a ******. He wanks in his ******* hat. He's got **** stained trousers. Cos he cant get no ******* ****.
He plays with his banana While wearing high healed boots He tried to pull up his small **** So he yanked it by the roots
Some girls flash their **** at Christmas Which makes the ****** cough And when he tries to pick them up They tell him to *******. Now one father he got angry. For squeezing the girls buts Don't ever dare come back round here And kicked my old man in the nuts.
Oh, my old man's a ****** He tosses on the mat He doesn't wear no trousers When he's trying to **** the cat
my old man's a wrinkly codger. He's just to ******* old. Mum wore him out in their younger days Now he's toothless and he's bald. Now she's just a fat cow way past her ******* prime. That's why my old man has ended up wanking all the time.
Oh, my old man's a ***** ****** He groped our friend next door He pulled down her knickers Even though she's 84'
Now one day when he saw her He kissed her by the bin He hadn't got all that far when she kicked him in the shin. When her husband came home he shouted "What's your ******* game" My old man just grabbed his **** and told him " I'll treat you just the same"
Oh, my old man's a gay **** He touched our neighbours **** He peeled away his ******* And gave it a good lick
He ****** on our neighbours **** one day it felt so ****** good. His misses sat there watching But I knew she ******* would Just from out of nowhere she said " Don't you make him ***" My old man said "why not" she said "I want to watch you **** my husband's ***"
Oh, my old man's had ******* He ****** the guy next door His wife was there watching While he ****** him on the floor
So Next time you see my old man Looking all pale and spent Don't you get to close to him Because he is old and definitely bent