There has been so much turbulence
It took me a while to find calm skies to finally be circling
Obstacle after obstacle
My body was fatigue off the hurdling
Only thing that kept me going
Was the good memories
But even those were in jeopardy
As I found the nightmares more nourishing
I found myself not wanting to drive no more
Rather be chauffeured by all my demons
Who manipulated my feelings behind closed doors
Hard to argue when they were always better on the track  
Even though stops signs were ignored
But I was down for the ride
Seatbelt unbuckled
Doubts I had a couple
Quiet was the tunnel
Loud was the collide
My life rolled like film right before my eyes
Out of body experience
I was delirious inside
And I was disgusted on what I saw
I mean the tickets were free
But I wanted to refund it all
So many regrets piled on regrets
Playing Russian roulette with my life's crystal ball
Just because I was too weak to form a fist
Too spineless to stand tall
But that was the old me
A *****
It took a near death experience to final wake me up
and push me
And it felt amazing to revolt
To take the noose that strangled and dangled across my throat
And use that piece of string to find footing
Like touring on tight ropes
The same monster that tried to **** me
Now gives me hope
The same place that broke me
Now shows me the truth through the smoke