and once more,
remembering the oddest
of events -
   sitting in an armchair in
a pub situated on whitehall -
close to trafalgar sq. -
****... what pub was it?!
ah... the silver cross -
anyway so this
     family of tourists
having a meal, their 3 / 4 / 5
year old (dunno)
starts to engage with me
and the pint of guinness -
can't say a **** word,
but he also doesn't drool
or ask for a a fake ******
to **** on -
   walks around a table,
  i "protect" him by
folding my hand over the table
edges:
   no, little ****** is going to walk,
but if he stumbles,
he'll fall on my soft flesh
rather than the sharpened
wood...
    comes up to me
with a spare armchair to my
left:
  so i pick him up and sit
him it...
and then i do the oddest
thing imaginable...
   i take a salt-shaker and
sprinkle some salt onto my hand,
and then onto his...
and then i rub it into my hands,
the little ****** complies
and does likewise...
    i guess that's what you might
call: metaphor in action -
i.e.? someone is going
to get *****-slapped...
   and it requires an extra sh'ting;
hence the salt.
oh yes, the parents didn't mind,
me and the 3 - 5 year old
had our little moment...
       ha ha, his crisp giggles
of innocence...
         did i mention that frustrated
"writer" sitting at the counter?
  i've seen ethiopian marathon
runners look less constipated
than this chap looked like:
bent over the counter -
   trying to conjure up a paragraph:
or something, or other...
  i was about to invite him
on a little secret... but i thought:
n'ah... rarely does a schadenfreude
moment comes along that
you can enjoy with due pleasure
required of it...
   you tell me to spot a schadenfreude
moment in manual labour,
i'd tell you: go **** yourself...
  but this was platinum -
    honey wannabe -
  this isn't the 1920s paris -
          look at them! look around you!
if you can't write in a toilet,
or hanging up-side down -
you won't get inspired by writing
in a pub...
              no chance in hell...
imagine! an extrovert that wants
to become introverted by
writing (the act of introversion)
in an extrovert environment...
                    how will that work?
not even the parisians share
the sentiment of the 20th century
of writing in public...
   that's a bit like having
                      a **** in public.