Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the hoard,
Of all their gifts from yesterday, they are already bored
But here they come a'shopping for they think that they need more
The hoard keeps marching on!

Geez, I'm glad I don't work retail
Geez, I'm glad I don't work retail
It would be like being in hell
I'm glad that I am home

It's boxing day at Wal-mart and the time is getting near
For people to come shopping with the ones they love so dear
By three o'clock they're fighting and their wishing for a beer
The hoard keeps marching on

(chourus)

The returns desk is not open and the crowd is getting mad
They're all returning presents that they got for mum and dad
They all are saying this year is the worst they've ever had
The hoard keeps marching on

(chorus)

The deals, they are exceptional, in fact they're really great
The things you bought for 90 bucks, today they sell for 8
If you find one that fits perfectly, you chalk it up to fate
The hoard keeps marching on.

(chorus)

I sit at home and laught about the people at the sales
And cringe and drink more alcohol when I think about their tales
Of how they fought the crowds off just to buy a box of nails
The hoard keeps marching on

(chorus)

It seems to me that Christmas now is on the twenty sixth
That the story about Jesus is no more than just a myth
My tongue is numb from drinking and I really need a kith
The hoard keeps marching on.

Glory, Glory Hallelujah
Glory, Glory Hallelujah
Glory, Glory Hallelujah
I'm glad that I stayed home!!