This little man Will do all he can To eat all his beans And avoid his greens. For him it is considered beneath To keep clean his teeth. There is little hope Of owning a bar of soap. To let an evening pass He would roll in wet grass. Then to get himself in gear Knock back four pints of beer. He has been told “elf” Take a look at yourself You have got yourself to blame You have brought much shame. You must go through a door And find it in yourself to explore. So it was that he became irritable With the thought of eating a vegetable He knew he was quite snappy But what would make him happy? Slow breathing in and out Just made him want to shout Who would want to embrace? His ugly little face? So he had a choice Led by a comforting voice Choose which door He needs to explore. Go through the door of red Where one stayed in bed and just ate bread Or the door painted green He would get himself clean Or go through the door marked blue Find out what he is addicted to. That thought was just plain crazy He knew he was lazy. He was the little man with a very short shelf Plonked on a label branded a very lazy elf.