Jul 2017
My sadness is closer
to the surface, I can feel it
tugging at my mind
but my gut won't budge
and all else is quiet.
All I can hear is my own
lonesome heartbeat
as I wonder
whether it's possible
to die of a broken heart.
I don't know why I'm sad,
I have so much to live for
but I set the bar too high.
Guess my cardio isn't
what it should be.
*Guess we could blame
the N-Ethylhexedrone,
Hexen does seem to pressure that *****.
to the surface, I can feel it
tugging at my mind
but my gut won't budge
and all else is quiet.
All I can hear is my own
lonesome heartbeat
as I wonder
whether it's possible
to die of a broken heart.
I don't know why I'm sad,
I have so much to live for
but I set the bar too high.
Guess my cardio isn't
what it should be.
*Guess we could blame
the N-Ethylhexedrone,
Hexen does seem to pressure that *****.
A nasty little thought struck a few weeks ago: being able to afford depression, having time for anxiety, stressing over anything other than survival; if you set the bar low enough we're all privileged. Such is the disregard and contempt I've held for my own humanity.
I am trying
to change,
I want to
so badly
I would relinquish who I am,
I would lose myself again.
To what end? Will it be
The Entheon or
The Apotheon
that captivates me
and will I've changed
at all if I succumb to their
homeliness; split the spectra.
I am trying
to change,
I want to
so badly
I would relinquish who I am,
I would lose myself again.
To what end? Will it be
The Entheon or
The Apotheon
that captivates me
and will I've changed
at all if I succumb to their
homeliness; split the spectra.
