FLASH: BREAKING NEWS! The President of the United States Has Just Been Declared Insane! This is from unreliable sources positioned as protesters outside the White House east lawn section. Details forthcoming as they occur.
Now back to our regular newscast...
In Chicago today, there was a new record set for murders on any given single day. The old record was...17. Today's total (so far) is at 18. (only time will tell if that will increase to a greater sizable amount)
Thanks for joining us tonight. My name is Mary Macabre.