MAL...FUN...CTION!




Her voice was all italics.




Her worlds in bold

and in BLOCK CAPITALS.




"Shhhhhhhh!" I said

in lower case.




"Shhhhhhhh!" I said agian

reducing my voice to a size 9 font.




"You say you saw a head..."

I said




"...sticking out of

a brick wall!"




She just nodded her head.

Too scared of words.




And - sure enough

( God bless her little cotton socks )




there was a head

sticking out of a brick wall.




"Well..!" I said "...well!"

to steady my nerve.




I thought at first

it was only a ghost




a trainee ghost

not sure as yet




of the mechanics of the process

of passing through brick walls.




But the explication was

not as commonplace as all that.




"hElP mE. . .hElP mE!"

the head said




in a Capt. Kirik-ish

kind of way.




For yea - it was he.




I thought now was

a bad time




to ask for his autograph.




"Tele..." the head said.




"Yes, yes old chap?"

I said.




"...porter!" the head said.




"Ahh you see..." I said to her.

"There's always a logical explanation




...the teleporter broke down

just as he was being beamed down




through this here

brick wall>"




"Oh...is that all?"

she said




finding her voice again

and not too shy to use it.




And so we continued along

down to the local Bingo Hall.




Never was one

for all that




Star Trek stuff.