I hope you're listening tonight and in case this is the first time you're hearing me I talk to you almost every night I've been trying to picture heaven I'm trying to picture it's skies and it's rivers I bet the scene is fulfilling  it leaves me restless not knowing I did well this year in soccer not so much in school but I know you see why I feel your presence when I'm on the field or in the circle or in the court when I'm sitting in my room as my world resets itself from all I have had to take and I feel your arms around me and a hug when I Feel defeated I feel you with me when I try to run out the sadness of you not being here I feel your full breath in the wind and I feel you catch me when I let go it's not easy for me to go on like the world is still round and moving in full orbit  it feels pretty flat and still from where I'm standing in a series of twists and turns it becomes a whirlwind a breathless whirlwind all my paper letters burn because I have never known what to say  and on the day you left I was 7:50 instead of getting to tell you what you were or who you were I hope your cold still hand and I told the shell of you that you are truly my best friend it's not often when you look at someone on the complete opposite end of the spectrum from you that instantly connect in those days I will never forget because you taught me beautiful simplicity Anyway no other Ever would or could I always expected you to be around I expected to see you at my graduation it was a long lasting exaggeration and a dead hope now buried so deep in the ground I can't believe it ever lived I hadn't known down that first hand until I met life and you are the one who shaped me not by lecturing me or by trying to give me all of your lessons before you left but with your  watery blue eyes  and your enlightened smile as if there were thousands of reasons you were doing so you've taught me to try to do the same but what you had was effortless it's with years of practice and work and trust and faith but now to show people happiness it's effortless  and that will last me forever I'm just glad I got to spend a little bit of my time with you even if it were the end of yours