A faded pale pink
I braided behind his head
But he didn't want me to.

I suppose I could have been more chill
More loving, open
But I guess I have to admit to myself
In order to get to the next
Evolution
I've been hurt and I've been angry
And I cried myself to sleep
Sobbing into the pink light
Just last week.

Its like the moment I become open
Available
Even if its not totally nuanced in truth
At the moment
A swarm of men
Bees
Come chasing and wanting me.

Didn't mean to
But thats a phrase my dad
Never let me get away with
Hope you don't hate me
Your room was just so hot
And your snores reminded me of my past
And your bedroom reminded me of a different past
And I awoke in the early hour
To leave
Because I wanted my own bed.

Snort a little bit
Just a baby bump
We all wear black
The witches of Chicago
I guess I feel like I'm always sorry
For one thing or another.

Masculinity
Femininity
Constraints we've built outside
In order to paint a page
A name to it
So that our insides
Have to be sorted accordingly
And perhaps
Perhaps
In all white
Jesus Nymph
Thats what I called you in the coming sun

And today I'm the bad man
I'm the *******
And maybe thats okay
To understand
And never do it again.