i've never been
happier.

because last night (everything i waited for).

where do i begin?

i suppose with the way that
lying in your arms
laughing at the scary movie flashing from your tv,
i felt so incandescently perfect.
i suppose with the way that
our first kiss (if you can call it that)
was the most hilariously, adorably, endearingly awkward thing
that has probably ever happened to anyone ever
(i could taste your nervousness)
and i suppose with our smiling whispered teasing conversation
about how much better we'll get.

i suppose with the way that you told me i was beautiful.
i suppose with the way that your stubble scratched against my forehead when you would talk.
i suppose with the way you laughed at me, quietly, when i would get scared
(there were ghosts on the screen
and i don't believe in them, but ****, did they look real)
and the way you laughed at me, loudly, when i would babble to your sister,
uncontrolled and verbal-*****,
because i just want her to like me
(my quirks?
the reason you love me,
you said.)

i suppose with the way that our fingers twined together.
i suppose with the way that you stroked my hair.
i suppose with the way that you told me
how long you loved me
how long you tried
(and all of it
paying off
now.)