Not sure why
I ever expect anything else
but I always manage to feel let down;
I know what I want
and I do nothing to get it except complain when I don't.
I know that I want to be happy
and what do I do?
I be sad, and afraid
and not very happy at all.
And why?
Because I have bugs in my brain that just love to make my life uncomfortable
and as unfullfilling as possible.
I want to be free and what do I do?
I become a slave to everyone and everything so that I am no longer me
but an image of passivity and repressed desires.
If I were free,
I would scream from the top of a building my opinions
and kiss that freaking stupid boy
and then do terribly explicit activities with him,
but none of that can happen
until I can accept myself and reject the possibility of disappointment.