In my youth, I ran to the desert.
She welcomed me as one of her own,
taught me many things,
loved me in her own unforgiving way.

The years I spent in her arms
saved me from many deaths.
I learned patience, and harshness
learned to welcome all things
as gifts from a God I couldn't see...
so I thought....

I lied to myself, and was alone
though God and the desert and
it's spirits walked alongside me
my heart never grew.

And now that I have come back,
I don't know how to hold
everything in my heart.

I learned to live on ideas;
real love was an abstract memory,
something that cost blood
and horror and betrayal.

I told myself what love was
out there in the sands,
when in truth.....
I could barely open my heart
to the beauty of a sunset.

Nothing has prepared me for this,
walking out of the wastes
to find my own people
waiting for me.

I have seen terrible things,
and so have they;
I don't know how to open
my heart to so many.

Jellaludin said to write what
we are most afraid of
so I shall write that.
I hope Shams approves.

I always say that one day
things will be different,
that we can change the world
as if it was the world that needed changing,

In truth, I am the one that needs to change,
I am the one who must take the leap,
I must step out over the abyss and
believe that it's about something more.

I am not afraid of the dark within myself,
my shadow I have come to terms with.
I am afraid of hurting those that have
tried to love me, whom I haven't allowed.

But that day I always yearned for,
the day when the world rolled back,
and the fountain gave of itself,
the day I decide to let my love **** me
that day is today.