How do you know the pain is real?

He trampled over my life and had to be reminded to make sure I was alright.

He walked all over me and I, all over him.

And one day I decided I was much better. A black hole, let him roam life degrading different souls.

I came to realize this was not true pain.

When I found your face, there was a pin prickle wave from my feet to my brain. I swear I almost threw up from flashbacks hitting my conscious like an 18-wheeler.

And a hollow cry that broght tears I thought I thought were dry when I realized I can never have those promises kept.

A hollowness that reopened old cracks that pushed further until they reached the core of matter.

You were the only good thing in my life and I have changed my mind one ******* million times but I took full blame for the way you will never want to see me stay true to my promises ending in the intended way.

True pain is realizing that it was supposed to always be you.

True pain is thinking I no longer have a heart because it was broken, but then realizing from the very start my heart was in your hand. Finding you again gave me my real heart back, not the one I handmade after we said bye that day.

True pain is breaking my heart that you gave back because I realized I ******* everything up.

True pain is him coming back to do everything he could possibly do, but it would never be enough because it's not you. I know you're long gone, but I hope someday you will find the truth in my words.

True pain is clearing everything, clearing everyone out and filling myself with nothing but you. When it's too late.