The water was so hot I had to run cold water into it just to sit down. The temperature of the water and my body came together and a calm rushed over me. As I picked up the razor, my heart beat slowed down instead of getting faster as I thought it would and I made the first cut, the razor was sharp. With the calming water around me I didn't really feel it but I knew it had been done as the water turned red.
I take the razor into the hand of the wrist that I had just cut and make a slice into the other wrist. I felt this more because I was loosing my strength in the hand of the already cut wrist and had to put more pressure on to make the new slice.
I sit in crimson red water and a Wonderful Peacefulness came over me. I was feeling calm and sooo Peaceful and felt some joy in it all. Felt joy that it was almost done...at that moment when the Greatest Peace came to me, I knew it was almost done...
At this point of Peacefulness, the alarm went off.
It was just a dream, my dream. But that Great feeling of Peacefulness was still with me in that moment.
I hit the snooze but I could never return to that truly Peaceful place.
There was Great Sadness with me that morning and joy in knowing the Peacefulness was within waiting.