Who the hell do you think you are? Just waltzing in like Jesus forgiving people all willy nilly! I wronged you... I broke your heart... i remember that day when i left. you were fairly well composed... i wouldn't dishonor you by saying you begged or anything... but i know you cried! i was there!!! you know how hard it was to leave anyways!!! We were going in opposite directions i knew it was the best thing to do for both of us... i was leaving for college. you were still to be in highschool for 3 more years...i couldnt make you wait for me...it was a sound decision... and so i left... it needed to be done...and then distance...i put geographic miles between us because i loved you i tore out my own heart for you!
and all i needed from you in return was for you to hate me...was that really so unreasonable...i mean i broke your heart some time ago... is a little disdain too much to ask... i mean i can deal with a person hating me for what ever reason... but you simply understand why i left and forgive me... i mean time heals all wounds but shit a little residual dislike? maybe even a if given the option i wouldn't share a meal with this person...this is rubbish...
i mean...i close my eyes and i still see you crying... and i caused a great deal of those tears...and i haven't really decided to forgive myself for those tears... and in an effort to somewhat make up for what i did... i apologize... and you just say apology accepted...
Know what... nope... acceptance of apology not accepted... and i full realize that this is my not forgiving myself more than anything... making my apology kind of pointless...and yeah i get that until i can forgive myself every relationship i have will ultimately fail... but generally speaking... you have to remain mad at me... and fuck you for even attempting to move on...now go and think about what you've done and i'll apologize later...
Ha!!! startling self realizations aside... i sure showed her!