There you are
Sitting at the counter
With a girl.

A girl, the girl-
She's not that pretty.
She's a downgrade
From me, how could he.

Look at her-
With those stupid glasses and
Elaine Benes Hipster clothes.
After me, why would he.

Oh look-
A DSLR camera that I
Bet she doesn't know how to use.
Instead of me, why would he.