Dear you,
I want my space. I used to say it and think to myself, "I do want my space. But when I want to be alone, you're the only person I want around."
The only person who could defeat my solitude, whose presence equals my need to distance myself
That was then. But now, when I say I want my space. I mean it's me, my emotions and my thoughts all in one room and the only way out is through a door that doesn't allow you to come with me. I mean I need my space. Especially from you. Not from the world, but from you. I don't mind who comes and goes because you are a permanent image stuck in my mind and somehow your presence is always there even on the days where I doubt we ever even happened
Where I doubt you could ever really love me
I wonder why you asked me to go after what I want, I wonder why you lit a match inside my chest and only left me there to burn and suffocate
You generated my feelings and I could never shut them off, not right now, not when it's too late
You put one brick on another, secreted it all with cement and then simply
With one hand gesture
You destroyed all the homes I've built for you
I love you and you're too good and I want this and I want you but no, it won't happen
I don't get you sometimes
And to be frank, I stopped trying to
Because this will only hurt me
This will only bother me
You don't have a single thought in mind of what might be happening in my head in this exact moment
You don't know
And the thing is, I don't think you even want to
I'm writing this and I'm aware that my words don't fit and my sentences don't make sense
But for the first time in a while, I'm writing for relief
For a reason to keep going
For the heartbroken
This one's for an ending that might lead to a beautiful beginning.