I keep writing in my journal
"remember why you came here"
now it's all my mind hears
sometimes you can't go
until you're sent
whatever that meant
and I'm tired
wish I didn't get so bored by you
wish I didn't get so indoors with you
I know you'd like it if I was more in tune
with you
and wanna do what you wanna do
I'm a liar in my ways
but honest in how I spend my days
I'm not looking for a fix
I'm not wondering if we're a good mix
because we won't be
right when we think we are
the clouds in my eyes are covering the stars
can't get high enough to see how far
I could run
but where's the fun
in not facing my own fears?
that's what brought me to art in the first place
being afraid with nowhere to claim as my own space
so I found it and defined it
wish I could slow it all down and rewind it
I miss my friends
even the ones who treated me like ****
I miss my lovers
even the ones who made love not worth it
but maybe what I'm really missing
isn't a time, a person, but a feeling
and now I'm constantly searching
for a way out of the darkness I found myself
dancing in it instead of drowning in it
is the only way to keep up my mental health
remember why you came here
remember to keep your head clear