Before my mind
Decides how
Utterly wrong I am
And how it doesn't even matter
I can tell you
How life has not been kind

'Cause you've gotten tall
And I'm still
The bigger they are
The harder they fall

And my life was ruined
From lies that
My deceiving mouth
Decided not to be consumed

And my skin
It's marked with beauty
That isn't so holy

And my lungs
And my liver
They're blackened by
A hand that quivers

And my mind,
My mind is an unfinished
Encyclopedia sized novel
With no end in sight
It never rests,
Always full of fright

But there's still
Big plans and big moves
And I've never been one
That was ever good enough
But that doesn't stop me
From ever truly giving up

And I despised you
For maybe a week
Because you were so loud
And full of light that I seeked

And I find ways
To numb the constant pain
Because I no longer have
The nerve to have someone
Remember my name

But you will always
Have a big fan,
It will always stay constant
Even though
I'm ******* agnostic