i think i know the answer,
but i'm too afraid to ask
i'll replay the memories
and pray that they don't last.
shifting moods
that left me bruised,
now i feel callused and cracked,
suppressed stitches from years ago
that I forgot I had,
creeps up my throat and into now
to choke me with the past.

i want to hit my head against the wall
until these things fall away,
so i can sweep them under the rug
where they can comfortably stay.
haunted by a possibility,
in love with what life could have been
i shouldn't run away anymore,
though i've tried everything