some days I want to
go home
some days I can't define
such a place
some days I wish to
call my mother
tell her how I was mistreated
this time
have her beg me to
come home

but her home is not mine
not anymore
not a safe haven for
me and my boy
too much trash and cigarettes and drinking
& I'm through depending
on others

yet the day in
day out
worthless
stupid
jobless
childish
*****
from the mouth of
the man that
I kiss
is stripping me
of sanity
& I have to lock the
liquor cabinet
to keep from going under




breathe


breathe again




it will all be
better
soon