I have come to the conclusion:
I am too aware

Too aware of the people around me
The way they wear their expressions when I speak
Immediately letting me know whether I'm accepted or a put off

Too aware of myself
Carefully choosing each word in my head before spitting it out
Then immediately second guessing the sentence as it falls off my tongue

I begin to think I'm viewed as a joke by many
Someone to make fun of once backs are turned
Someone who is never taken seriously
But that's what happens when too many people make you feel like an outsider in a crowd

Or is it due to overanalyzing each social interaction I have
Feeling untrue feelings
Making inaccurate assumptions

But maybe, just maybe
They appreciate me

But how can you ever really know for sure?