a month until you're 18
you put yourself first
sit waiting
until a day you're cursed
for being so selfish
for a while you felt helpless
with no one to help at all
you're in a room
and you feel like the walls
are crushing you
so you assume you're dead inside
and you allow yourself to cry
cause you're selfish
and that's all you're ever gonna be
and you're only selfless and fine
when you're not even happy
what is happening inside your head?
you don't share it out to most
you don't think what you post
you're never what you're supposed to be
you don't speak the same lingo
and everyone knows it
and they expose you to the world
and say you're a *****
you're a horrendous scumbag
who's full of *******
and you no longer are seen
as someone in the magazines
you're painted a new light
and your colors aren't the same
colors used to be so bright
now they're just a washed out gray
so nothing can be said
to fix how you feel
it all feels surreal
how some people can be so evil
and distasteful to your image
and you scrimmage pieces together
try to connect the dots
of where everything started
and how everything went so wrong
you stare in the mirror
and even your own reflection
hates you now
and all your friends
who were once your friends
wished you were dead
buried underground
you feel so ****** now