I sat on my bed
staring at the floor
Face blank, mind racing, searching
Till I got this urge,
This shiver down my spine
this clawing at my insides
these whispers in my head
So I went to my window
Tore off the screen
Sticking my head out in the summer breeze
Stared at the trees and the birds and the leaves
And tried to imagine what flying would be like
What crashing would feel like
What my head would look like
After I jump face first out my window
Into the rock garden down below.
I sat there, on my window sill
One foot dangling over the edge,
the other touching my carpeted floor
Trying to decide whether or not tomorrow was worth living for.