What's the matter?

I always hear my mind scream,
Saying words I only dream,
Nightmares of truth keep the seam clean,
Infections on the surface burned by sunbeams.

What's the matter?

Thoughts of doubt crawl into my head,
Thoughts impregnate each other in the bed,
Making me regret all the words I've said,
Making me notice the cuts and all the red I've bled.

What's the matter?

Why the **** does my mind want to know!?
My mind is my mind not a dumb ***,
It should know how I feel and manipulate the dough,
Easily molded yet so hard to throw.

What's the matter?

She asked so politely with concern,
Looked at her through the darkness my stomach had turned.
Knew it was my time to speak as my eyes watered and burned,
Said "Nothing at all." with a friendly smile, to the one that I yearn.