I picked up the pieces of my shattered heart
and put them into my jar of fireflies.
Only way now to keep my heart-spark alive
To live healthy in the glow
I've left the lid open
Living with the fear that this light might leave me
I have to remind myself some days that dust still rises
So I walk like an oil well to keep your memory alive
I watched them bury you
and realised my biggest fear come true
Heaven can't be real
And coffins only trap our dead
I need to let you go
When I die I want to be naked
wet
and covered in seeds
Heaven is the transfer of energy
into new life
I don't wanna be a goddamm tombstone garden
I wanna be a real garden
With ******* roses
and lillies
And weeds
Weeds are hard to ****
Make me something strong again
Give me a reason to keep on going
Help me kick my own dust
I wanna make life
even after my life
and
I want you back
I want you back
Because I miss you so much some days
I drive sixty in suburban neighborhoods
Prayin the fire finaly takes me
and
I can't do it
I know I will wake up in the morning
and you still won't be here
Sent you an e-mail the other day but purposely got the address wrong
I just wanted your name in my inbox
Someone already has your cell phone number
I called them and cried
because when they answered
they sounded exactly like you
They've asked me to stop texting
Saying I have the wrong number
Did you know all the people on tv sitcom laughtracks are dead?
It is ghosts reminding us to laugh
Remind my smile
Remind my dust
Remind my firefly glow
To get bigger
Remind me that you're not really gone
Not gone gone
Even if you're just plant food
It means something
It's why grass itches your bare skin
Reminds you it's alive
I don't want to itch like your nightmares anymore
Just know
I am picking up the pieces as best I can
And I ******* miss you