I want you to know I got home from work and I saw your house had a ton of cars out front.And I wondered about the last time I'd see your (her) car up front. Or the last time I'll feel your sadness. or the last time. but you are not yourself, you see. You're a slave to it. You're entranced by the euphoria of the past. You hate being alone. so much that you leave your friends for a little lingering feeling of love. A memory.  Pictures last longer and you have plenty of those. I made a copy of a poem for you that you may or may not have read. I realized my hand was stuck in the printer. whoops. I know you probably didn't read it or ever will read it. or this. but I have one question,

when are you going to become yourself again?
I don't know how long it's been since you've talked to or even met yourself as yourself. And I think I could've introduced you but I'm gone and you're farther away.
and I want to make myself throw up so you can actually see how ******* sick i am of your *******. I want to have a conversation in person so you have to see me as real. Not a picture-less "helena" or perhaps, now an email.
so you'd have to tell me why.
I need you to tell me why.
I think you owe me that.
you owe yourself that.