i don't know where to begin
and you'd then say, sarcastically -
at the beginning

time is a lie but
emotions are not

defining
memories
shaping me gradually
i am a sculpture
made of stone

often i feel brittle but i
know i am strong

in four years i have
grown tremendously
become better
happier
bolder

not perfect but getting there

in the summer heat i will
grow again
turn into my better self
welcome a future full of
hope

thank you for nine months
four times
of self-inflicted horror
and i am sorry i have
not fully appreciated the gifts
you have given me

these warmer months will give
me time to ruminate