Im counting days on a calender since we've spoke.
Days of strength and possibility.
But today i broke, heavy is my heart with weight of you.
The taste of your lips and the touch of your hands that linger from 3 weeks past.
The what ifs and the whys all rolled into one big paranoia.
Cant mistake the beating heart that pulsed under my fingers; refrain.
Refrain for a simple indulgence that we both desire.
Fear binds you to a proper way long lost amongst many
That unmistakeable pounding of the heart like blood through the veins yields no relief from the inquisition of my mind.

Do you love me?
Could you love me?
Why am i here?
All questions remain just that. Empty and unfulfilled, like us that day.
How long can this go on, i do not know.

Ive tried to cover myself with people or things.
Trying to pass the time, where you would fade.
Some memories have, but not your smell or your hair, your pretty smile or your voice. Those are constant.

There are days when i can push you aside and decieve myself.
That i dont care and you dont matter.
But i find myself hoping you had a successful day, or that there might be a sighting from afar.

News that you were leaving left mixed emotions.
Good for him, he deserves that.
 Ill never see him again....
But if i never see him again??
Out of sight out of my mind used to be my motto, until you.

So i beg this question again:
How long can this go on?
Because it has been two years and my heart still aches for you.