when im alone
and i have nothing to
direct my attention to
i wish i had my fill
of the things that are known to **** you.

its been a little while
that ive been clean of it

but i need it.

i get itchy
and twitchy
and thirsty
without it
my throat feels like its on fire
and the only thing that could cool my case
was another fill.

without it
i’d have these extrodinary headaches, real irritable
and i’d feel like i saw the room slowly crumbling down
and the floor would spin from beneath me
which it never did.

once i had another fill
it was as if it made my stomach full again
it felt like a three course meal
in one small compact dose.
so
so
tasty
yet terrible.
its tearing my family apart
and i know this but when my mind starts
thinking about moments like those.
where i felt really infinite.
i start to crave
for another fill.
another fill
just
one  
more
wont hurt.
at least for today..