Have you ever sat in a dark room and thought about how disappointed you were in yourself?
How you let yourself back in the trap that you set up for the victim, but in turn you just entrapped yourself.
You sit back with your heart stuck in the bear trap and somehow although you created  it you still can't figure out how to get yourself out.
You tug on little parts of the mechanism but it doesn't budge.
You use your tears they warned you would cry, to lubricate the joints but still nothing worked.
You lied to yourself on how you deserved better but still couldn't escape.
You made empty promises to get someone to help you, but they saw right through you and wouldn't give you a lending hand.
You re-read and re-read old texts just to see if you can remember how it felt to be let down, and hopefully those feelings will make you press the backspace button on your phone, instead of pressing send.
You look at chats you had with your friends on how you complained and how you'd "never go back to that stage", but right now, you're the one in the audience applauding his lies, and false charm and all the things that stopped you from self harm.
You see his smile, and the trap hurts your heart a little less. so you wiggle this and you wiggle that and he smiles a bit more, and all of a sudden that stops you from closing the door,
on something that was evil, hurtful, regretful and resentful, but he let that all go.
So you assume you can go back to the beginning.
The days that you sat in that dark room, planning your trap and how it would work, but not how in turn it entrapped you and you still haven't learnt.
You'll never learn these lessons, not now, not ever, until you meet. so that he can disappoint you again and that feeling you'll finally feel.
You'll feel those feelings of hurt and regret and somehow you'll find a way to forget. like how you did the first time, and the few times after that, and until you get to that day when you can finally move on,
you'll realize that you were in the wrong.
You let him set the trap and you put your heart there on purpose.
But who's going to remove it, fix, patch it back together?
These chances are slim
Unless you forget him...