It means nothing,
You whispered as,
Lips crash,
Hearts beat,
Breaths shorten.

Denial runs thick in your veins,
But so do they.
Love isn’t what you have it’s lust,
Your heart says,
But your head tells otherwise.
And don't we always listen to what we want to hear?
Not what we need.
And right now I need him.
I need his love,
His touch,
His voice.
But it's not mine to have.
And that's fine.

Besides what we had wasn't love,
It wasn't anything.
I liked the idea of having him.
But he's not what I need,
I realize too late as his hands trace my veins,
Him whispering in my ear,
I'm all you need,
I'm all you have,
I'm all you deserve.

So I take what I can get,
Even though deep down it's not love.
But denial is strong willed,
Just like me.
So I continue to embrace him,
When I know deep down it's not what I deserve,
But It's all that I'll ever get.
Because if listening to the voices in my head leads me down the path of safety why would I not take it?
He's safe.
As his lips explore,
His fingers feather down my side.
He feels safe and fun.
So instead of looking for something more,
Something that will hurt,
Something that will be the death of me,
I settle.
Cause what else can I do when all I've ever known is hurt.
I just want some safety for once.
Something stable,
Unlike me.
And he gives me that.
Until he doesn't.
Then off to the next safety cushion who encourages the denial of my own self worth.