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May 2017
I clenched my fists, i was ready to hit you but i didn't, you had this irresistible smile and i, i couldn't handle it, i didn't want to hit a girl even though you deserved it and even though you asked for it, you got down on your knees, begging me for it and i, i just couldn't.
I invited you for a coffee instead, have some snacks with it, make some small talk about the weather and our relationship but it never happened because i couldn't and no matter how much i told myself that everything would work out, it didn't.
So you just sat there and i, i was standing up with my fists still ready to punch, i almost even kicked that stray dog that came up to you, they looked like they were on a verge of dying, i could have ended their misery, i've never felt as prepared, i wanted to but i couldn't.
You asked me what's on my mind, my mind was empty, nothing came out, everything was blank, i just stared at you, i wanted to hit you, you wanted me to hit you so we just stood there, people walked past us, they stared at us, they had these weird expressions like, i don't know, i just couldn't.
And when you finally said you have to leave and told me to not stop you, i still couldn't get a word out of my mouth, i just watched you as you slowly walked away, you didn't turn your head, not once did you look back to see my face, my face was in tears, my fists were clenched tight, i wanted to run after you, i wanted to just run you over and give you everything i had but i couldn't... so you left.
Silver Heinsaar
Written by
Silver Heinsaar  27/M/Estonia
(27/M/Estonia)   
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