i was baptized after
god had given me
reason and sight,
thought and perspective,

unlike the babes we give
bombastic destiny shortly
after birth

i had a priest
chewed tobacco
spit it in a coca cola can
i stared in disbelief
he handed me a bible
“you tell me where in there
it says I can’t chew”

the me now, wishes the me then,
would’ve handed the book back
and asked;

“why are all the writers men?
do women know nothing of god?”

that priest was defrocked
his wife, mother of five,
found the skin and liquor
of another man alluring

the archdiocese
frowns on these things,
chewing aside

i had a bishop
he ordained me
blessed me subdeacon
i lit his robe on fire,
on accident
he forgave me,

then he disappeared from his post,
according to more blessed folks,
he’d been teaching faith askew,
church dogma was fed to the dogs,
the wine and bread to humans
trying to survive with
dignity

his church name was
bishop innocent
ironic, i know

i dreamed of priestly robes too,
a liturgy to the masses
delivered with rapture and passion
thought i’d turn the tide
make a difference
for god, for good

then god died
in a room of hypocrisy
full of self-important men

what excuses have we conjured?
for war?
for violence?
for power? For
white over black?
white over brown?
white over yellow?
male over female?

other than,
god willed it? god ordained it?
the devil made me do it!
for, isn't the devil
just an angry god?

sure we say…
democracy is under threat,
freedom is under siege,
capitalism is just,
they got what they deserved,
******* will burn,
arabs are killers,
women are weak,
the poor are stupid,
men are strong

what we really mean is -
god wills it

that invisible hand
we slap each-other
around with

a  muppet,
a clown deity
we parade around,
a spiritual lawyer with
hidden fees against your soul

i was baptized after
god had given me
reason and sight,
thought and perspective

it didn’t work out so well
for god