So this is what my life amounts to
Just some words on page
No one knows me
I hide in the shadows waiting
Waiting for what, I do not know
But it will find me of that I'm sure

My life is but a wreck at the bottom of the ocean
When I went down I took many with me
Few survived to tell the tale
Though no one believed such a thing could happen
Alone I rest with the dead
No one can find me, no one knows

I tried to be who they wanted me to be
But it's so tiring living up to expectation
People expected me to fail so I showed them wrong
They expected me to drown but instead I swam
Expectations are silly things
No one can really live up to them

I've loved and lost and loved again
But will this love last
If it is indeed love, it shall
Though if its not it shall surely fail as it has before
Love is a tough thing to comprehend
I comend the people that understand and have it

People give me more sympathy than I want
In fact I don't want any at all
I tell them the sad things of my life
Only because they want me to
And they want to pity me and douse me with sympathy
I do these things to make other people feel better

My heart has been torn apart and remade so many times
Stitched and sewn, broken and smashed
Over and over again the cycle repeats
I love with my whole heart, at least what's left
And I assume that they love me just as much
Though that hasn't always been the case

Abandonment is never an easy thing
Especially for a young child to understand
People tell me that it's in the past
I know that it is, but do they?
"What's past is past and I can't go back"
That seems to be my motto for life

I look ahead and I don't see much
Not that I don't think I have a future
I just don't want to know everything that will happen
People try to plot out my life
I let them try in vain
Eventually they will find out that they can't control me

I look to the past and see wreckage
With a few glimmers of hope and light
Those few times in my life when everything seemed to be going right
But eventually they too got swallowed by doubt and darkness
I wonder what my life would be like if somethings were different
But past is past and I can't go back

My present is full of set backs and stumblingblocks
But when I fall down I get back up with avengence
I have some help from family and friends
But its not much in the end
I push forward to an unseen future
And run from a horrifying past

This my life many have seen it
People could read me like a book
But that book would be in a different language and backwards
I'm not that easy to understand
But once you get me you never go back
There are few I trust and even less I love

This is my life