When it's late at night
I feel the urge

I remember it



and that scares me

I also remember the pain, desperation,
suffocation
and I lay still

Fighting it off

The need to run

It's a pummeling of my bones against my skin
To get out of here

to live

to be breathlessly aware of the night sky
The inky clouds and yellow stars above
your heavy breaths
and churning legs

The urge
consumes you

It takes you back

It starts you over

The urge is a messy symbol

Of butterflies
s       t        r              e           s           s
and the silence you didn't notice

the silence
in
your
soul