i want to tell people and i don't. i do not want my depression to be used as a crutch; yet it is in a way. i do not want pity, as i have had enough of that. i do not want special treatment. i do not want any special treatment. i only wish for people to understand.
there's a reason i won't be as social or I have a mini breakdown in victoria’s secret or i will cry for no reason (i’ll say there's no reason because i don't want to be a burden/worry/trouble) or i will nope around the house for no reason. i keep the dark thoughts to myself, the ones where I debate is the world would be better without me or if i would feel any relief from a small cut, the bright red a stark contrast to my white skin. they are only thoughts though. i have made a promise that i will never do a thing and i will keep that promise.
i try to have hope. hope and the people i love are the only things that keep me tethered to this world. without them, i would be lost. i just have to remember that when the dark overtakes the light