It feels like a sigh of relief
To take it and release
Cute smiles and eyes
At a new party
A whole new slew of people
Community
And I enter into contests
Grant submissions
Because I think and I feel
Something
One of these
Has got to happen.

I heard phrases and words
From my first film often
It's cold out
Every morning I wake up
Haunted by dreams
Trying to make sense or relive  
What we lost
"And you looked so pretty"
He said
I wore my white cape shirt
Because I know it's a power move.

You told me
"You look like you could be somebody famous"
When we walk, bop around
As to what I got stares or approached
In the sunshine
We were at our best on vacation
And as I scrubbed my bathroom floor today
Picking up and out
What once was
I thought
The week days were a gray filled torture, locking me down and influencing me
With whatever your mood
And in those moments
Where you became a monster
It was no longer worth it to me.

Shy new smiles
Longing for some more of those new wet kisses
I tread lightly
Carefully
Selfishly
I thought I had it figured out
But I think of the night
I started to buy a bathing suit
Larger than life carpets
Heated in Macy's
And how you almost sent me home
And yet still,

I was willing to compromise
Surrender
Give

And none of it even really mattered in the end
I worry about those who might
Turn the other way
But I remember what brought me here
Who I am
The turmoil of home
How I feel with a camera in my hands
Or when I look radiant
And I'm glad

I'm so glad
You didn't even have the strength
To watch me go.