You ask me why there is so much
misery in the world
why can't people just accept their pain
and be happy,
I pause
and look at the pain in myself;
the years of neglect 
coiled like snakes
between the layers of my skin,
the doubt, 
anxiety
and ugliness
****** through my tissues
(that I can't wring out like a sponge, 
though I have tried),
the lonliness 
fed to me by my blood
so that I am always full,
the devil that wraps himself 
around my backbone,
so tightly
that when I cough
he breathes
when I choke
he heaves
'with pleasure, 
sadness always weaves'
and when I spoke,
my voice fell
my teeth followed
clattering to the ground.