dear whoever is reading this,

i'm sorry if i have seem to cut you off or push you away, somewhere in my head, you gave me no other choice and it seemed like the best thing to do at that point.

i want to blame you for all the times you weren't there, for the birthdays you missed, for all the calls you missed and never bothered to call back, for all the times i needed a familiar voice to snap me back from my never ending nightmares.

i needed a friend to drag me back from my own personal hell, and to tell me that i'd be okay.

one thing  i've realized in my 21 years of existence is that everyone can play the blame game and point fingers, but that hasn't really got me anywhere.

so this is me, apologizing.  

for not being a better friend, for not being the person you wanted me to be, for not being there.

i'm sorry.