I  haven't slept for days
but I don't feel tired

tears cascade from my eyes
but I don't feel sad

a sour taste rises in my throat
the force of it all rocks my body

as I throw up the memories that you burdened me with

I smile
but I don't feel happy

I kiss him
but I feel no love

the truth is
I haven't felt anything since you left

any body I touch or new memory I make seems lost in the thought

of what could have been
what could have been

if you had stayed
if I had been good enough

but you didn't
and I wasn't

so I lay on the tile floor
and I let go