I didn’t love you. I loved the way you loved me. I loved the idea of us, I loved what I meant to you. I won’t ever love you.
I'm sorry I couldn't fall in love with you, I'm sorry for pretending that eventually I would. I know when I walked away I left you shattered. I hope you're okay now and forgiven me.
We had a good thing going I know that's how you saw it, we were perfect together. But we never were. I was looking for a way out before we began. You can put the blame on me, I led you on. All those late night conversations, you know so many things about me that I never knew about myself. We spoke about the future and you always put me in yours but I don't even know where I'll be a year from now.
I am sorry.
It wasn't you and I know that's cliche but you were never unkind or mean, you actually were the nicest, most honest guy I've ever met and I was so lucky to have you in my life for the time that I did. You took the good with the bad, even though there was so much more bad than good. I made you believe things were better than they were and I know now I should've let you know instead of stringing you along. I knew my feelings for you were changing and I tried to ignore it, because you were amazing. You were everything I ever wanted but it wasn't enough, it wasn't real.
The hardest part about this was letting go, knowing you were crumbling inside yourself asking yourself what you did wrong. I received all the text and voicemails and it broke me to not answer but I had to let you go, you needed to know the truth. And to answer your question, yes I did try to love you but love shouldn't have to be this hard.
I wish love was enough to keep me. I wish the love you have for me was enough to fix everything. I feel like I’ve been apologizing for days now and I know they seem like empty words but I had nothing but good intentions. I never meant to ruin you. If I could rewrite this ending believe me I would.
I know its different now but I hope you’re well and you’ll always have a special place in my heart and I know that doesn’t mean much to you because your heart is sitting in the corner of my room where you left it. I know it’s different between us now and you don’t understand why I walked away but you deserve someone who can love you as much as you love me.
What I need you to know is that just because I wasn't the one doesn't mean she isn't out there waiting for you. You keep looking and you will find someone you deserve, someone who deserves you and loves you equally.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you needed but thank you for loving me.