forced to live with myself
the greatest punishment
everyday is a burden, a constant struggle
lately i've been asking
what is the struggle about
the more i do the more it hurts
solution STOP
stop struggling and smile for the last
don't panic under water
relax and drown
the weight will carry us to dark depths of water
no-one will ever know or care
no flowers no grave

stages of grieve what *******
true loss, grief never leaves
it latches onto your shadow
follows you
engulfing you
evolving, constantly shrinking and growing
but never leaving
taunting you
until you brake
grief laughs triumphantly
heartache rides in on a pale horse
powerless i watch
numb i only exist
for brief moments in life i smile
not laugh, smile
even a forced laugh
speak words hearts only hear