Today,
(as I held myself together
Tight, so that less of the wind would chill my bones,
Having a gaping hole in your chest can get quite chilly you know)
You smiled at me
(as we walked through the halls
So close together our hands nearly touching
Your warmth reaching out and embracing my right side)
And I smiled back
(as the tears threatened to spill over
As I tried not to fall apart then and there
Where everyone could see the shattered pieces of my heart
Spilt across the hallway)
But I guess it didn’t reach my eyes
(which kept their frown
And betrayed me as they stung with tears
Unable to see beauty in the world
When all my heart could feel was pain)
So you hugged me
(tight and close
Wrapping about me like the smell of fresh chocolate chip cookie from my childhood
Warm, deep, and wonderfully sweet)
I leaned into you
(as you held me together
Tight, so that none of the wind would chill my bones
And closed some of the gaping hole)
We stood there
(as the hallway traffic flowed about us
And I began to resurface, no longer quite gone
I floated somewhere between living and dead
With you tethering me there)
You spoke
(your voice not carrying far
Only just barely reaching my ears
But filling me with a breath of life)
Your words were so comforting
(I’m here for you A,
You’re not alone, don’t forget that
With the sweetest sincerity)
I listened
(feeling as though my entire life depended on it
And I grasped the words close
Burying them deep in my shattered heart
Before they could escape to be dashed upon the rocks of reality
Instead I kept them where maybe they had a chance to take root)
And I cried
(all the tears I had never let out
All the tears I had tried so hard to hide
From you, from him, from everyone
So that I could stay strong and whole)
You only held me tighter
(whispering ‘he doesn’t know what he’s lost
He never deserved me if he was only going to make me cry
And I clung to you with a drowning man’s strength
Hoping I wouldn’t drown in this sudden onslaught of tears
But knowing you would be there to save me)
You didn't walk away
(but stayed there
as I never thought anyone would
my rock against the brutal storm of reality
making sure I knew that I wasn't alone
that I was loved)
I smiled through the tears**
(thank you)